"Hey...Kaworu...you need to wake up."

He jolted awake, blinking blearily. The room around him was hazy, its details blurred. They blurred the farther away they were from him until they faded into darkness. Just beside his bed, there was a figure, no details discernible except for the glint of their glasses.

Kensuke...had what happened been a terrible dream?

The figure approached and he realized, even though the similarities were there, they were far too tall and their hair far too shaggy to be him.

Emerging from the dark was Goichi, his eyes shadowed and haggard and his mullet in disarray, as if he had failed on its upkeep. He frowned deeply at him and murmured, "Do you know where my brother is…?"

"You...saw him last, didn't you?"

"Where has he gone to?"

"Can't you bring him back?"

"I really miss him, y'know."

Finally, he found his voice and croaked, "Bring him back…? But I didn't...I didn't…"

Goichi's features hardened, his eyes turning to stone, "You didn't what?"

"What happened wasn't my fault!" he protested.

"That's the kind of thing you'd like to tell yourself, huh?" the man accused, "But at the end of the day, you're not like us, aren't you?

Kaworu jolted away, shimmying away until his bare back hit the wall. It was hard to breathe all of a sudden, as if he was trying to breathe in hot, humid air. Goichi continued to approach, until he loomed over him. The light catching his glasses obscured his eyes but no doubt, he was furious. He hissed, "You're some monster, you know that? And what's worse is you've deluded yourself in thinking you're a human. A monster like you doesn't even deserve to mourn my brother...you should keep his name out of your mouth!"

Goichi lunged, hands raised to strangle him, and Kaworu knew he wouldn't fight back. He wouldn't struggle.

He gasped awake, grasping the thin sheet covering him for purchase. After a few moments of disorientation, he realized he was alone, in a hospital room and very sore. His fingers ghosted over his throat, which still ached from Bardiel's honest attempt to kill him.

He had only met Goichi twice but his mind had made a pretty convincing facsimile of him, if only to torment him. Except for better or worse, it was not real and he was very much alive.

Probably for the worse, he was still alive.

---

Everything was terrible.

That was the constant refrain echoing through Asuka's head since she had been extracted from her Entry Plug and brought to the hospital.

There wasn't a lot of good news to be to be had but some came in the form of her first visitor. Face and arm bandaged and coming in with a limp was Misato. Asuka shot up then immediately winced at the phantom pain that rocketed through her shoulder and back. Misato held up her free hand, "Asuka, don't move too much. I heard you were hurt."

"Me, hurt? What about you?!" Asuka cried, eyes roving over her.

The older woman probably should be in bed herself but had come to visit her instead. Misato had gone well out of her way to check on her. Her chest suddenly felt warm and her pain eased at the thought.

Misato winced as she lowered herself into a chair. "I'm fine enough, to answer your question," she told her, "I just couldn't rest if I didn't check you are all alright."

"I guess," Asuka conceded, "Have you seen anyone else?"

"Just you, so far," she said, "They just moved Shinji into the hospital so I'll be go seeing him next."

"So they really did put him into custody."

"Just long enough to get him to cool down. I don't think anyone was taking his threats seriously. I heard he just about lost his voice screaming at the officers."

Asuka frowned. That didn't sound entirely un-Shinji-like though she had to admit the idea of him raving so much he lost his voice was nearly entirely foreign.

Misato's voice brought her from her thoughts, "What did the doctors say about you?"

Patting over her chest then shoulder, she said, "Good news is there's no lingering nerve damage from the wounds. Both still ache terribly but eh, it's what it is."

"It's the best we could hope for," Misato's eyes grew cloudy, "...considering the circumstances."

Immediately, Asuka's mind went to what they lost. She murmured, "If I could have gotten up faster, I could have stopped it."

"Asuka," Misato began.

"No!" she cut her off, "Unit 02 could have kept on going, we could have kept on going! If we could have saved Kaworu, we could have stopped the damn thing from going off and...and...Kensuke would still be here!"

She shook with barely hidden rage and, to her great horror, her eyes began to sting with unshed tears. She blinked furiously, hoping they'd dissipate for good. She would not cry. If she maybe saved them all, she could cry then, but she hadn't yet earned that.

Misato gently laid her hand on her shoulder and murmured, "Asuka...there's no point in thinking about 'what ifs' or 'if onlys'. We just...we just have to keep on going."

"You're just saying that," she grumbled.

"I'm not. You don't think I'm thinking that if maybe it was me guiding you all, I could have figured out some way to prevent what happened?"

She used her blankets to dry her eyes and, to her relief, Misato didn't mention it. Instead, she patted her gently, "Don't beat yourself up. I've got to go now so get your rest."

With that, she left. Asuka leaned back in bed and craned her head to stare at the familiar ceiling. How couldn't she beat herself up? She had the foreknowledge and she had Unit 02 with unlimited power but yet...she had still failed. Her deck was stacked but she still failed and even worse, it was Kaworu who took the fall for her failure.

They hadn't spoke since she relayed him the terrible news. She'd have to visit him and soon. But even moving reaggravated the phantom pain, as if it reminded her body it was hurt. She decided she'd go after a short nap. By then, Misato should have gone and visited everyone and her pain might have faded a bit more.

---

When Asuka awoke, her pain had faded, as she had hoped. With new resolve, she set out to check up on everyone.

First was Shinji and, confusingly, he was completely absent from his room. She scoured the surrounding area but found no sign of him. If he had ran away, like last time, she was sure she would have heard about it. Putting that out of her mind for the time being, she moved onto Kaworu.

Entering his room, she found him laying in bed, awake but staring off into the distance. She frowned and greeted, "Hey, Prettyboy."

He jolted from his trance, looking over at her with wide eyes. He held her gaze with that deer-in-the-headlights look before his eyes softened in relief. He murmured, "Asuka, it's you."

"Who else would it be?"

"Um...I don't know," he admitted quietly.

It was weird and frankly a little scary to see Kaworu so morose. She wished she knew the right words to lift his spirits but nothing good came to mind. If the Angels had broken Kaworu, what chance did she have? She tried anyway, "How are you?"

"I don't seem to have any lasting damage. My neck is a bit sore but...otherwise, I'm fine."

"Physically, that is."

He hummed in affirmation but didn't offer anything else. Nothing for her to work with. She dragged a chair beside his bed and sat down, "Do you...wanna talk about it?"

"Not...not particularly. Sorry."

"Don't say sorry," she playfully knocked her hand against his, "I hate it when people apologize when they shouldn't."

He chuckled gently, "That's right. You do."

They sat alone with each other for a few minutes, in a tense but amicable silence. Finally, she broke it, "I'm sorry."

He looked over at her, his eyes tired and dully red, "For what?"

She shrugged, "For being so harsh on you after. For not saving you."

"Asuka," he sighed, "Please don't apologize. I'm not angry."

Balling her fists up, she couldn't help but cry out, "Why not?! Why aren't you angry? I had all the tools and I...I still failed."

He gently placed one hand on her fist and pried her hand loose, back into an open palm. She didn't fight him, letting him do so and then do the other hand. Once he was done, he clasped her open hand in his own and answered, "Because sometimes things don't work out, even if we really really try. I...have my suspicions the Commander wanted to activate the Dummy Plug one way or another. The fact I didn't fight back just gave him a convenient time to use it."

"You got this all backwards," she grumbled, "I'm supposed to comfort you, not the other way around."

Understanding dawned in his eyes, "Ah. There is more to this than just the fact you failed."

Inhaling a ragged breath, she explained, "It's just...you accepted me right off the bat. The least I could do was save you when you needed it. Spare you the pain of what...what happened to Kensuke."

"I don't blame you."

"And I don't understand why you don't."

He smiled weakly, "I fear it's not in my nature."

That was the needed words to diffuse the situation. She scowled, "Nature, fate...for someone so grounded, you talk a lot of spiritual matters."

"That's too in my nature."

"Ugh!"

She groaned, pulling her hand from his grasp to press to her face. Once she lowered them, she asked, "Has Shinji visited you? He's not in his room."

"He's not in his room?" he asked, the surprise on his face making it clear that this was the first he had heard about it.

She nodded. He continued, "Misato visited me after him and she said he just seemed very...withdrawn. Like he didn't want to talk. Though according to her, he might have lost his voice."

So he had wandered off, probably only having talked to Misato, and couldn't even be bothered to visit Kaworu! Asuka internally seethed. She was going to have words for him when she found him.

At the very least, unless he snuck away, he hadn't run away like last time. That might have been the only time in the previous world where he was justified in doing such a thing.

"That's so weird," Asuka murmured, "I wanted to get a second to talk to him. Try to knock some sense into him."

"Of course, for what is to come," Kaworu murmured.

She hadn't even devoted any thought to the next Angel. She groaned, "I meant for not visiting you but yeah, that too!"

She turned to him and asked, "If something happens, would you be ready?"

It wasn't much of an 'if' but a 'when', but she didn't want prying eyes or ears to believe she knew something she wasn't supposed to.

He smiled weakly, "Do I have a choice in the matter?"

She frowned deeply. Telling him he did have a choice would be an empty platitude, especially since they both knew they didn't really have one. Running away instead of facing the next Angel would be the selfish choice and likely the choice that would doom humanity and restart the cycle. So she told him, "Just focus on resting right now, alright?"

"As long as you visit Rei too before you go off to try to find Shinji," he replied.

"That was already in the plans."

"Just remember to rest too."

She was about to rise and say her farewells until he murmured, almost too soft to hear, as if he didn't want her to, "Asuka. Is it my fault Kensuke died?"

She whipped back around to face him and snapped, "Why would you ask a stupid question like that?!"

He shrugged, "If I could have fought back, maybe the Dummy Plug wouldn't have activated."

"It was strangling you! You couldn't have fought back! If you did, then you were just laying there letting it kill you!"

He chewed his lip anxiously. Well, if Bardiel had killed him, it would have made some future events no longer a concern.

Seeing him still morose, Asuka sighed, "If it's not my fault, then it's absolutely not your fault. It's Shinji's bastard father who turned the damn thing on! It's his fault!"

"I suppose so," Kaworu conceded, even though he didn't sound very convinced.

Even though she had the urge to further argue with him, she didn't see him doing anything but placidly agree with her while not really doing so in his head. So she sighed, "Just...try to sleep or watch TV or something alright? Don't sit here all night thinking about it!"

He nodded and, even though she didn't believe him, she gave him her farewells before she left to visit Rei.

She left and headed down the hall to Rei's room. Between her concern about Shinji's disappearing act and Kaworu's depression, Rei had nearly slipped out of her thoughts. And considering what Rei had shared with her a few days ago…

Her breath caught. Even if they couldn't be together, she still shouldn't neglect her. They were friends, after all.

She padded inside, finding Rei reading a book, no doubt brought by either a nurse, Misato or even maybe Ritsuko. Seeing her, Rei gave her a warm smile, "Asuka."

"Hey, Rei," she once more collapsed into the chair beside her, "Sorry I didn't visit sooner."

"I understand. You are concerned for both Kaworu and Shinji."

"I take it Shinji hasn't visited you either."

Rei bowed her head, her eyelids slipping over her eyes, giving her a half-hooded look. She murmured, "No…"

Asuka frowned, her face falling at her reaction. Of course she would take this badly. Before her and Kaworu had arrived, Shinji was all she had. Now, when she needed him, he wasn't there. She murmured back, "I'm sorry, Rei."

"He's my first friend...he's very dear to me...I thought I might be the same to him," she said quietly.

"I wouldn't take it so personally. He hasn't visited Kaworu either. Or me. I'm guessing he's not talking to anyone," Asuka reached out, her hand wavering before she decided to place it on her shoulder.

"I see…"

They sat in silence for a little while longer before Asuka rose once more, "I'm off to look for him and give him a piece of my mind."

"Please do rest," Rei told her, "You're hurt too."

"It could be worse," she shrugged her off.

"It will be if you don't rest."

Thinking about what was to come, she conceded, "You're right. I'll just do one circuit around the hospital and rest for the night."

Rei smiled, satisfied with this deal, "Good. See you later, Asuka."

Her circuit around the hospital proved fruitless. She even asked the receptionist if she saw him leave but she pointed out she wouldn't have let him leave without his guardian's permission. So unless he had snuck out and was hiding somewhere inside the Geofront, he was still here. He just didn't want to be found. In a final last ditch effort before she quit for the day, she took the elevator up to the roof. Emerging into the false sunlight, she found not Shinji but Mari whistling at the edge of the roof. She wrinkled her nose, "Little Miss Union Jack?"

Mari turned to face her with a grin, "Princess! And you even gave me a nickname! You didn't do that before."

Crossing the roof, Asuka asked, "So how'd you get up here?"

"There's plenty of ways to get in here if you know about them already. Old access tunnels and the like. I should show you some time," she explained.

Stopping before her, she said, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you were waiting on me."

"Not quite!" Mari chuckled before, her face fell into a neutral expression, "I was hoping for someone else."

"I'll take a wild guess: Shinji?"

When she nodded, Asuka huffed, "Man of the hour and no one's seen him."

Mari looked back over the Geofront, her expression turning to something more thoughtful. She said, "I guess I'll just have to pass the message to you. A nexus point is fast approaching. You better hope everyone holds tight onto their humanity."

"Excuse...me?"

"I'm saying everything just might change very fast very soon. I want all of you to make sure the damage is mitigated. We're going to all be better off in the long run if the rollercoaster stays on its tracks."

Everything clicked together.

"You've done this before," Asuka realized.

Mari looked back at her, her smile tight and forced, "In that case, so have you."

Deciding this was going to take longer than she expected, Asuka sat down beside her. She murmured, "It's a long story."

"Can you tell me at least how many times around you've been? Ah...if you've been keeping track?"

"I only remember the one but I think it's the first...the important one."

She decided against telling her the whole circumstances of how she had come to remember. Kaworu hadn't made any mention or even indication he knew Mari was a fellow looper so it stood to reason Mari didn't know about him. She didn't know if he had any reason to keep that a secret from her but it wasn't her place to tell anyway.

Mari nodded, "Very important to remember. I wasn't here for that one...or if I was, I wasn't very relevant in the greater story."

"So how did you get roped into this?" Asuka couldn't help but ask.

Mari's face once more smoothed over into a neutral expression, though this time her eyes betrayed a sense of melancholy. She said softly, "That was part of why I hoped to find Shinji. I had hoped to share some information with him before the next Angel, so he wasn't caught unawares. But he appears he doesn't want to be found."

"I bet he's taking what happened to Kensuke hard," Asuka murmured, looking away and down into the Geofront.

"My condolences, by the way. I never met him here but...I've met versions of him. He was always such a good man, even for all his idiosyncrasies."

"...if you hadn't run away, it would have been you in Unit 03...right?" Asuka asked slowly, her eyes narrowing and sliding back towards her.

Mari tilted her head, the light catching her glasses in a way so her eyes were hidden behind the glare, "What of it?"

"So you knew what was going to happen."

Her tone took on a new note; a defensive one. "So what, you want to admit I ran away because I was scared?" Mari frowned deeply, "Or are you accusing me of getting Kensuke killed on purpose?"

Asuka opened her mouth then closed it, realizing she wasn't even sure what she was saying. Her brain wanted her to get furious at Mari for what happened. Then there'd be a person she could get mad at, instead of the unreachable Commander Ikari. But instead of blowing up, she pressed the palms of her hands into her eyes, willing herself to think about something else.

So she began to press her for answers. Uncovering her eyes, she asked, "You said something about a nexus point, what the hell is that?"

She didn't expect Mari to answer so openly, "Things like to change really fast right around here and they can change pretty drastically in my experience. Everyone better make sure things work out as best they can. I'm going to try to help however I can."

She wasn't answering many of her questions really except confirming what she should have always known. This next angel, the juggernaut Zeruel, was when things shifted. When it felt like everything got really hopeless soon. She swallowed thickly, "Alright. Dunno how you're gonna pull that off but sure. Alright."

Mari smiled, a mischievous sparkle in her eye, "I've learned some tricks. I have my ways," and began to sit up, as if to leave.

"Hey, wait," Asuka said and she stopped, giving her a last quizzical look.

She continued, "You never told me how you got roped into this."

"It's a long story, much like your own," her eyes softened with fondness, "But let's say its all because a promise to an old friend."

And with that baffling explanation, she left Asuka alone on the roof.

---

After another day, all four were deemed well enough to be discharged. Rei and Shinji had left first but not together. According to Misato, who had seen Kaworu and Asuka off, she had been there to discharge Shinji but the boy had bolted off before she could offer to take him home.

Kaworu was deeply troubled by his beloved's behavior. He had a right to react to things as he needed but he couldn't recall Shinji behaving quite like this before. He had run away before and he had shut others out but now it seemed like he couldn't quite commit to either one. He could tell though Asuka was losing her patience with him.

Nonetheless, he was glad for her presence. She had been a bundle of nerves since Bardiel but had seemed to push her efforts in making sure he was alright. If he felt any better, he might have chastised her for not looking after herself. But he needed some sort of rock, as his emotions felt like a raging sea.

One moment, his emotions felt far away from him and he felt closer to his first incarnations than he ever had since. The next moment, he felt so nauseous he had to fight to keep the bile down. He wanted to cry and wail and scream. And rarely, some terrible part of him wanted to raze the whole world down and try again.

But Asuka was here. He now had an obligation to not leave her alone—for as long as he could.

As they walked, he asked, "Do you think Shinji might have gone on home?"

Asuka huffed, "Hard to say. Probably not, seeing how he doesn't want to talk to anyone."

"I see…"

Kaworu's face fell and once more, Asuka couldn't help but feel annoyed at Shinji. He wasn't the only one suffering! Kaworu was the worst of them all but he couldn't even spare him a moment! She hissed through her teeth.

Even with what had happened, the pair fell into routine. They stopped at a convenience store, grabbed some drinks and headed to the abandoned park. As they headed there, Asuka stared down at her drink with hooded eyes. Last time she had visited one with someone, it had been Goichi's store. Now, surely if they had visited that one, he wouldn't be there. No doubt what had happened to Kensuke devastated him but she kept that thought to herself. For Kaworu's sake; he didn't need more reason to blame himself for what had happened.

They sat in the grass and Kaworu said, "I suppose you want to discuss the next Angel?"

"Not quite," she shook her head, "First thing's first, it's about Mari."

His eyes widened; he hadn't expected them to meet again. He said as much, "You saw her again."

"Yesterday, when I was looking for Shinji, I found her on the roof. I guess she was looking for him too. She had a message to pass along. Something about a "nexus point" and how "everyone needs to hold onto their humanity"," she explained.

Kaworu's eyes widened further and he murmured, "She's in this too...how?!"

Asuka shrugged, "I tried to ask her but she just told me it was "a promise to an old friend"."

He hummed in thought and she pressed, "Have any idea what she means?"

"I've got a theory but if it's all the same to you, I want to keep it to myself until we see her again…," he trailed off.

She scowled but decided against pressing him. He most likely had his own reasons and, at the minute, it wasn't all that important. "What do you think about her warning?" she asked, "What's that mean? Everyone hold onto their humanity?"

"I fear she is thinking of a specific loop," he murmured, his eyes going cloudy and pained.

He looked up at her and, finding her expression had gone equal parts hard and inquisitive, demanding an explanation, he began, "There was a loop...maybe under a dozen or so ago. Things changed so drastically and so quickly. But it all went off-script, so to speak, with the next Angel. It took Rei."

"It took her?!" Asuka cried.

Kaworu nodded gravely, "It's absorbed her and Zero's core into itself. Due to Rei's...unique biology, this allowed the Angel to ascend to a form where it could have ended the world. Just like you remember, Shinji did battle with it but this time it was to rescue Rei. His will to save her spurred Unit 01 to break its limits and ascend to godhood. Unfortunately, this began the Third Impact."

Asuka was full on gawking at him now and he let her do so as long as she needed. She opened and closed her mouth like a fish until she found the words to say, "Gott im himmel."

"In a sense," he joked lightly.

"Shinji did that? Shinji 'I will not run away' Ikari did that?!" she asked, horror inching into her tone.

He nodded once more, "Yes. Whether he meant to or even truly understood what he was doing is irrelevant. In that world, Shinji nearly ended the world. Thanks to...outside intervention, it was halted...for a time. But the world was forever changed. He was lost within Unit 01 for fifteen years after."

"Why do I get the sense that's not the end of it?" she murmured.

Smiling sardonically, he said, "No. There's much more to it but to really explain it, we'd be here for quite some time."

"It's fine. Tell me if we end up averting it," she waved him off, "So we gotta make sure the Angel doesn't "take" anyone. Because with how Shinji's behaving, I think he'd do that for just about any one of us. He went berserk when Sandalphon was attacking me and I was still being terrible to him then!"

"We've all have to keep our heads screwed on straight," he warned, "Don't you think you'd do something similar if one of us was taken? Not to mention that your mother's got an S2 Drive this time. Truthfully, I have no idea if that's within 02's capabilities...but I'd rather not bet on it not being capable. Things change all the time."

She frowned deeply and imagined what she would do if the Angel took Kaworu, Shinji and then finally Rei.

The picture that last option painted of Unit 02 stood high as the world ended around it was disturbingly vivid.

He had a point.

"Fair point," she told him so, "Is there anything we can do to prepare?"

He tilted his head this way and that way then shook it more definitively, "I think we're as ready as we're ever gonna be. If you get a chance to talk to Shinji, pass the message on."

"If he gives me one," she grumbled.

They sat in silence, Asuka sipping her cola and Kaworu his orange soda. Then she broke the silence, "Kaworu, what happened to Kensuke isn't your fault."

"You said that before."

"Yeah but I got the sense you didn't believe me."

He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "I don't like to hurt others," he told her, "Even if the scenario called me against a fellow human, I couldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. But the Dummy Plug made Unit Four...it made me do that. I could hear it, I could feel it. It's very difficult to believe its not my fault."

"It doesn't matter what it feels like. You didn't make that choice. You've got free will and what happened wasn't out of that free will!"

What a funny choice of words from her.

She continued, "If someone puts a knife in your hands then grabs your hands and makes you stab someone, is that your fault?"

He quirked his lips into a small smile, "...you've got a funny way to making your point, Asuka Langley-Soryu."

She crossed her arms, "You didn't answer my question!"

"You're right," he conceded, really conceded, "That helps more than you know."

"I'm glad?" her expression was inquisitive but, for once, she didn't press him too hard for it, "Whatever, you'll tell me one day, right?"

"One day," he promised, because one way or another, he would have to tell her of his true identity, as the Angel of free will.

Even though lately, that last part didn't seem very accurate.

---

Rei was feeling a lot and she hated it. At one point, she might have believed her half-soul prevented her from feeling her emotions. That appeared only true for the intensity. The sheer volume of them made her behave as if she had none at all; walking through life as if through a dream. She couldn't quite process all of these emotions. Confusion, anger, fear, anxiety, anticipation.

It didn't help all her friends had been in their own world. Kaworu was equally distant as her, as if he too had too many emotions to process correctly. Asuka was lending most of her attention to fussing over Kaworu and trying to find Shinji. Shinji hadn't bothered reaching out to anyone after his outburst.

Rei tried not to feel too hurt.

But it was hard to when even her oldest, dearest friend wouldn't come see her.

And on top of all of this, something terrible was coming.

She had never been privy to the full details of the Secret Dead Sea Scrolls but one of the kindnesses the Commander extended her was telling her what he could. The next Angel, Zeruel the Arm of God, was slated to be horrifically destructive and difficult to put down. He instructed her very tersely that she must be ready for its arrival.

From the hospital, she went home and sat down on her couch. Doing anything felt like distraction so she just sat there, staring into space, for how long she didn't know.

There was a knock at the door.

She moved before she processed what she was doing to go to answer. She had regained awareness when she opened the door to find her nearest dearest friend, Shinji Ikari. "Shinji," she murmured.

Nodding, he asked, "May I come in?"

"Of course."

He walked in and gave the place a wide berth. He smiled warmly, "You've really made this place your own, huh?"

She nodded, "I think I understand now what Asuka meant by doing things that made me happy, even if they do nothing else."

As she let him in, she realized the error of her ways. Sitting there all day meant she hadn't ate and her growling stomach announced it for all the world to hear. She blushed.

"I could make us both something?" he volunteered.

"It's my home."

"I don't mind it. I'd actually really like to cook something for us."

"Very well."

Finding she didn't keep any ingredients and instead subsisted off instant meals, he made a disappointed face. He then excused himself, promising to be back quick. As promised, he was, carrying in his arms a bagful of ingredients. From where she had been waiting, the kitchen table, she apologized, "I apologize for my lack of fresh ingredients. I don't know how to cook."

"It's alright," he assured her, "I just wish someone had taught you."

As he went into her kitchen to lay out the ingredients, she asked, "Why didn't you go see Kaworu instead of me?"

He frowned, "He wasn't home. I was going to come see you anyway...so I just decided to come see you first."

"I see. He is most likely still walking home with Asuka."

Shinji paused, staring off into space before he said, "They sure do spend a lot of time together. Do you think there's anything going on between them?"

Immediately, Rei shook her head, "That's not true."

She not only remembered Asuka's determined belief that Kaworu liked Shinji but also her rejecting her. It was unlikely that Asuka had bounced back to Kaworu, especially since it seemed she'd rather the two boys be together. "They're just friends," she added.

"I guess you're right," he nodded, "They came here together so they were probably friends before then."

He turned to face her and asked quietly, "Say, Rei...could you keep a secret?"

Immediately, she nodded, "Of course. I shall take it to my grave."

His face did a weird spasm as he grimaced. He grumbled, "Don't word it like that...it's not that serious."

"My apologies...what is it you wanted to share with me?"

He beckoned her over, as if he was fearful someone might hear him if he raised his voice at all. She rose and crossed the space. Once she stood right beside him, he confessed, "I really...really like Kaworu."

"More than friends?" she whispered back.

He tilted his head then shrugged, "You can put it like that. I'm just not sure if that's a good idea."

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"There's just so much going on…"

Once more, Rei was reminded of her situation with Asuka. But this wasn't the same. She had turned down Asuka for her safety and to spare her pain, when the end came. She murmured, "Asuka told me Mr. Kaji told her we should find time to be kids. I believe "dating" comes with that."

"You're saying I should tell Kaworu how I feel about him?" he asked, eyes wide.

She nodded, "I believe so."

He smiled, his whole body relaxing as if her words had lifted a great weight off of him, "I'll keep that in mind, Rei. Thank you."

He turned back to cutting the vegetables then asked, "Rei, since no one has taught you to cook, would you like to watch me?"

Smiling, she nodded, "I would like that."

Within the next few minutes, he found the stereo on her counter, tuned it to a classical radio station and then began preparing some yakisoba with tofu and vegetables. He seemed to relax when doing all this, enough to start conversation once more, "How are you doing, Rei?"

"I'm doing well."

"Even just out of the hospital?"

She twisted her wrists then rotated her shoulder to test for pain and, upon experiencing none, nodded, "I'm in no pain."

"I'm glad. I'm still getting pains in my leg every so often," he patted his hip for emphasis, "But I guess it could have been much worse."

They were most certainly thinking of the same people. Not all the injuries suffered were physical. And not everyone involved got to come home.

"You should have rested more," she lightly chastised.

He nodded, "You're right. I was a coward, huh?"

"I wouldn't use such harsh words myself."

He turned away, staring at the cut vegetables as he thought. Softly, he admitted, "I just didn't know what to say to anyone. I don't know what to say to Kaworu and Asuka's been acting so erratic it scares me."

"But they're your friends too."

"But what if I offend Kaworu and say the wrong thing? And what if Asuka gets mad at me like when we first met?"

Failing to see his point, she insisted, "They are your friends. That is irrelevant."

He shifted his weight from foot to foot then promised, "If I see them, I will talk to them."

"...if? Are you going somewhere?"

He grimaced then explained, "I'm not going anywhere. I just...I feel like something very terrible will happen very soon and I might have just wasted my chance to talk to them before it."

"Something terrible? Like another Angel attack?"

"I guess so," he turned away once more from her.

Rei got the itching feeling he wasn't being completely clear with her. It reminded her somewhat of the Commander but the comparison rattled her so much, she discarded the thought with haste. If Shinji had something to hide, he surely had good reason to.

There was no possible way he should have known what was to come. The Commander never extended such a kindness to him and there was hardly anywhere else she could think he might have found this information. It must have been anxiety...but unfortunately not unfounded.

He steered the conversation away from that topic as he served the yakisoba. He made extra and was sure to put it in reusable containers for her to have later. As he sat down to eat with her, he told her, "If you want, I can come over again and make you something else."

"Would it not be easier for me to come over to your home?" she asked softly.

He smiled, "That's a good idea. I don't think Asuka or Misato would mind the company."

When they finished their food, Shinji took his leave, promising to come see her again soon if he had the chance.

Once again, if. Rei wished she could tell him his fears were unfounded.

Shinji paused outside Kaworu's apartment, considering if he should visit him before he went home. He was surely home now and would answer the door.

But between wandering and how even a simple visit with Rei, a deep tiredness had settled into his bones. The prospect of another long visit and the inevitable confrontation with Asuka adding onto that...he would just have to try the next day. "Just give me one more day. Please," he murmured softly as a prayer to the universe.

Unlike Kaworu, there was no way he was getting out of talking to Asuka. He wasn't surprised to find her in the living room, only resigned. She turned to see who came in and, seeing it was him, leapt up, "Shinji!"

He nodded and went to her, rather than wait for her to come to him. She crossed her arms. As expected, she was not pleased. She demanded, "Where have you been, you jackass!"

Better than idiot, he supposed. He shrugged.

Her face did some interesting things, twisting this way and that until she settled on something resigned and only a little annoyed. "Are you alright?"

"As good as I could be. My leg's not that bad," he bent his leg for emphasis.

"Same here," she made a fist and lightly tapped her chest.

"...I think I'm going to bed. Sorry, you'll have to figure something out yourself for dinner," he sighed.

"I don't need you to make me dinner every night like you're my mother," she smiled lightly, her insult lacking any teeth, "But what about you?"

"I already ate with Rei."

"So you visited Rei and not Kaworu?" she asked, her voice gaining an edge.

He cringed but explained, "I tried his door but he didn't answer. And now I'm way too tired to talk with him. I'll visit him first thing tomorrow. I promise."

Asuka's face fell, "Ah. He was out with me."

"What were you two doing?" he asked, "Talking?"

She nodded, "About...what happened. He blames himself."

It was as if a fire ignited in Shinji and he cried, "But it's not his fault! He didn't have a choice in the matter! My father's the one who made his Eva do that, not him!"

"That's what I said!" Asuka agreed, "...maybe not in so kind words."

Crossing his arms, Shinji simmered, "That's it. I'm definitely going to see him first thing tomorrow."

"To knock some sense into him?" she couldn't help but smile slyly.

"To get him to see some reason!"

He turned away with a huff and marched back down the hallway to his room. But the closer he got to his room, the more his fire lowered until it died completely. He stopped in front of his door, feeling suddenly very cold. What if he didn't get the chance to talk to Kaworu? Should he maybe ignore how he felt and go try anyway?

"Shinji, what are you doing?"

He turned to find Asuka at the front of the hallway. She had followed him here. He turned, wavering as he did. He couldn't make his mouth make the words he really should say. She stared back, her expression confused. Finally, he stammered, "Do you think everything is going to be okay?"

She frowned, "What kind of question is that?"

"...you're right. That was stupid," he turned to go to bed.

"No," she followed down the hallway until she was right beside him, "Everything's going to be alright because we're gonna fight tooth and claw for it. Alright? Don't go and give up on us."

"Whatever it takes," he replied, the familiar mantra bringing him a degree of calm.

Her eyebrows furrowed, obviously not picking up on the deeper meaning of it. Still she nodded, "Yes. Whatever it takes."

Like some of the weight had lifted off his chest, Shinji felt he could breathe a little better. So he bid her good night and turned to go to his room, hoping he may find solace enough to sleep.