To Shinji's great relief, things resumed to normal after Asuka came home. When he got home from school that day, she had been in a chipper mood and told him she was ready have some real food again. If he didn't enjoy the act of cooking on its own, he might have been insulted, taking it that as that's all she cared about when it came to him.

And well, he had known her long enough to learn that was just her way of saying she was happy to be back home. He still had a lot of things on his mind but her being alright was one less thing.

However, today when making breakfast, he found a new thing to put on his mind: they were dreadfully low on a few ingredients. So he decided he'd go and take a walk by himself up to the store to pick up those few ingredients. Asuka even offered to go with him, reasoning that more hands meant a lighter load but he had casually rebuffed her. If it was all the same to her, he had told her, he wanted a little time to himself.

Now, he was walking back home, the few ingredients he had to pick up in a spare backpack he kept around for things like this. It was just slightly too heavy and he almost regretted not accepting Asuka's offer. Oh well, too late now.

"Hey, Puppyboy, why the long face?"

He was shocked out of his thoughts and froze. He looked to his side where, leaning up against the dividing wall, was a girl with long brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing red glasses. He scowled at the overfamiliar name, "And you are?"

The girl grinned, unplussed by his catty tone, "The name's Mari! We should be friends."

"I'm sorry but I don't really know who you are," Shinji shuffled anxiously, wondering if he should just keep on walking or humor this girl a little.

"I think you'd be surprised," she replied.

"Well, I haven't seen you at school so you must be new around here," he concluded, "So no, I don't think I do."

To his surprise, she merely laughed, as if amused by him. Not that he really knew what was so funny about what he said. She smiled at him, "I am new around here! You can say I just moved here."

"Well, I'm Shinji," he introduced, "And as much as I'd like to stick around, I really have to hurry home."

He began to walk away, deciding he had way too much on his mind to add this weird girl and her antics to it. She called after him, "I know who you are, Shinji Ikari. You're the famous Eva pilot."

He stopped and frowned deeply. This encounter just turned from merely weird to more than a little creepy. Patience growing thin, he turned to face her, "I don't think I'm all that famous."

"In certain circles you are," she dismissed.

"What circles are those? And who are you anyway?"

"I told you, my name's Mari," she repeated, "And I've got some advice for you, Shinji Ikari."

He frowned and asked, "Is that what you stopped me for?"

She nodded, "Do you want to hear it?"

"...go ahead."

Her bright smile didn't fade, even as she said, "Watch out for your friends, Shinji. All of them, mind you. We're at the top of the rollercoaster and it's a loooong way down. As we speak, the operators are picking someone to unbuckle so they don't make it to the bottom."

His chest panged uncomfortably at her words. He squinted, "How do you know anything about my friends?"

"I know a lot more than you think, Puppyboy," she teased, "I want to help you though I've got to be careful at what exactly I say. Just know I think you need to keep a close eye on all your friends."

Shinji weighed his options. He could stick around here and continue to try to pry more information out of her, something he felt was an impossible task, or take what he was given and head home. He decided for the latter as he murmured, "...I'll keep it in mind."

"You better!" she called after him as he continued to trudge home.

---

The next day was luckily a slightly more normal work day for Misato. Paperwork regarding the most recent Angel was winding down. There was still yet more work to be done, as a whole section of the city had been consumed thanks to the Angel's destructive shadow, but more than likely that was for people farther down the chain than Misato.

The day was only slightly more normal because her entrance to the command center had come with plenty of news. Units 03 and 04 were finishing production over in America. Unit 03 was mostly done and a project concerning 04 had recently been cancelled.

Supposedly, there had been a project to implement a new energy source to it but after a small explosion took out a good chunk of the Nevada base, it was being fitted with a more standard battery. According to Hyuga, who had given her the news, he heard that the project wasn't entirely being cancelled, just delegated to someone else. Who exactly it was was classified, which only further solidified Misato's suspicions of secrets being kept.

Quickly, after being given this news, she was summoned to Ritsuko's office by the woman herself. Finally! No more having to find a very tiny opening in her day to speak to her. Though the thought of bringing up her outburst up made her chest constrict, she forged on. It wouldn't do to not clear the air.

She knocked on the door. From inside, Ritsuko called, "Come on in."

She opened the door, stepped over the threshold but didn't go further in. Her friend looked absolutely beat, deep shadows under her eyes, her lab coat wrinkled and possibly a whole cigarette pack's worth of butts in her ash trays. Misato didn't envy her in the slightest. She asked, "You doing alright?"

"Worried about me? Even after what happened?" Ritsuko asked, a small but crooked grin on her face.

Misato crossed her arms, "You're still my friend...at least I would hope so. Listen, I still really don't agree with what your decision was but I shouldn't have slapped you. I'm sorry."

To her surprise, Ritsuko shrugged, "You know what. It's fine."

"It's not fine!" Misato protested.

"Misato, no offense, but I've got a whole load on my mind that frankly matters more to me than some fight we had. And considering the situation, it's acceptable you weren't entirely rational," Ritsuko dismissed her, her tone clipped yet tired.

Misato rubbed her arm, "If you say so. How about what you called me for? Is it because Unit 02?"

"Partially. We've got a whole lot to talk about so how you just take a seat," she gestured to a spare seat in the corner.

Just from that, Misato could start to understand why Ritsuko might just want to forget about that fight. She dragged the chair over and sat down. Ritsuko swiveled her chair to face her, "Unit 02's now on lowest priority."

"What's that mean?"

"It means, in any engagement, Unit 02 is sent out last—that is unless the Commander decides all the Evas need to be deployed at once."

"Asuka going to hate to hear that," Misato commented with a frown.

"That's a compromise," Ritsuko told her, "I heard there was talk of a complete suspension but the Commander thinks that's frankly unnecessary."

Who would want that, if not Commander Ikari? Did that committee have so much power they could dictate what they did with the Evas? She frowned, "At least him and me agree on that at least."

Ritsuko swiveled away and hummed in thought as she tapped away at her computer. After a few moments, the printer next to her computer groaned to life and began printing out something. Ritsuko faced her again, "That's going to take a moment. Sorry, I should have had those printed out first but my mind's been all over the place."

"I can believe that."

"Let's just say I'm past needing a coffee and need a stiff drink."

Misato snorted, "I can help you with that if you'd like."

Her friend rolled her eyes, "You mean that swill you drink? I'll pass. I've got that wine you gave me back in college I've been thinking about all day."

Misato gasped, "That's been nearly 10 years since I gave you that!"

With a playful grin, Ritsuko nodded, "Yep. Should be nicely aged by now."

Misato cackled at that and she let herself smile. Yeah, letting go of that fight was for the best. If she held the issue against Misato, she'd risk losing one of the few points of human connection she had. She straightened up, "Anyway. Have you heard the news of Units 03 and 04?"

Misato sobered up quick and nodded, "They're finishing production over in Nevada, correct?"

"That's right and it looks like the Americans want to send them to us."

Misato rolled her eyes, "Typical Americans. So cocky until something blows up in their face and then they just want to get rid of it."

Ritsuko allowed herself to laugh, "In their defense, it's not like there's any Angels trying to destroy Boston. They only come here."

"It's just like the movies."

Ritsuko leaned back, taking a glance at the printer as it finished printing, rumbling to a stop as it did. Misato continued, "One of those Evas is Kaworu's, I'm guessing?"

"It's somewhat of an open secret but that's correct."

"How about the other one?"

"The Americans actually had a candidate picked out. A British expat by the name of Mari Makinami Illustrious but a month or so ago, she went MIA and hasn't been seen since."

Misato raised an eyebrow, "A whole pilot goes missing and no one's worried, why…?"

"NERV America seems to think she just ran away. According to her file, she doesn't respect authority so it was figured she ran off to disobey. The Americans aren't very worried so I guess neither are we," Ritsuko shrugged.

The idea of some kid running off and no one caring to know where she went put a bad taste in her mouth. For all they knew, this Mari was in a dead in a ditch somewhere! But there wasn't anything she could do about it; after all, America was a world away. She put that out of her mind and asked, "So who's going to be the pilot then?"

"According to the Marduk Institute, him," she took the bundle of papers from the printer and handed it over.

Misato's eyes widened when they landed on the pilot's picture, "Hey! I know this kid...are they sure?"

Ritsuko nodded, "It was apparently a close choice between this one and another. According to the report," she tapped the paper for emphasis, "They decided this one was more likely to cooperate with us and the other pilots."

"This...Marduk Institute decided this?"

When Ritsuko nodded, Misato asked, "Why haven't I heard of this Marduk Institute?"

Ritsuko shrugged and dismissed her, "It hasn't really come up. They are in charge of evaluating pilot candidates and ultimately choosing one, depending on a number of factors."

Misato frowned but decided to not press her—and her own luck—further. She tucked the papers under her arm, "I guess I'll read through this on my own time," and turned to leave.

---

The next day at school was like any other; the teacher droned on until it was time for lunch. Lunch found the boys on the roof eating lunch. Toji was explaining to Kaworu, who just arrived, "We're having a guys' day, are you in?"

Kaworu sat beside Shinji and tilted his head at the jock, "A...guy's day?"

Toji rolled his eyes, "It's what it sounds like. We all go pick something to do and just go hang out."

Kensuke nodded enthusiastically, "Toji said we should go to the arcade, Shinji said the music store to look at the vinyls, and I wanna show you guys the military surplus store I like! Now you gotta pick something to do!"

Understanding, Kaworu nodded, "I see. What made you think of this?"

Toji leaned back, looking away and ultimately trying—and failing—to not look too sincere, "It's been a while since we've all hung out. So I thought if we made it all special and stuff it would end up being actually special."

Kaworu once more tilted his head in thought. With the freedom of choice also came the paralysis of indecision. He looked to Shinji, "What do you think?"

Shinji, who had been staring out in space and not even eating his bento, tensed and blinked at him, "What?"

Toji groaned, "No, you gotta choose for yourself, K-man!"

Kaworu bowed his head. He was probably right. After a few moments of thought, he suggested,"Oh! We should go get something to eat between all this...there is that ice cream place across from the arcade."

"Oh that's a great idea!" Kensuke cheered, "Makes it a complete day!"

Kaworu turned to Shinji who, now broken from his reverie, was picking at his bento. He frowned, "Are you well, Shinji?"

Shinji frowned. He had considered telling someone about Mari but had decided against it. Not only did he want Toji and Kensuke to get...weird...about her but something about her secretiveness told him that he shouldn't go around telling people about her. Her accent clued him in that she really was new here but he couldn't fathom why she was here. He shrugged, "I've got a lot on my mind."

"You can talk to us, if you'd like," Kaworu told him.

Toji chimed in, "Yeah! It's what having friends is for!"

Shinji gave them a weak smile, "Thanks but...I don't know if I really want to talk about it. I just want to keep my mind off it."

---

The next order of business for Misato, outside of her work that was, was tracking down Kaji. It had proven to be a harder task than she expected. He wasn't in his office that afternoon nor in the cafeteria or any of the lounges around his office. Eventually, after asking around, she had learned he had gone out to the Geofront.

Finding where exactly he was in the Geofront was its own task but she eventually found him tending to a patch of watermelons near a patch of trees. She stopped just behind him and said, "I never took you for the gardening type."

He turned to flash her a grin, "What can I say? I'm multi-faceted. What did you take me for, Katsuragi?"

She frowned and considered this. She wasn't actually sure what she expected him to have for a hobby, even back in college. She didn't really know what he liked to do. Her heart sunk. She really didn't know him as much as she liked. Instead of pondering that, she offered, "Do you need help?"

"That would be appreciated," his grin softened into a warm smile and he pointed to the wheelbarrow behind him, "There's some gloves over there."

They worked together for some time, weeding the patch then harvesting what melons were ripe. In fact, they worked longer than Misato had expected to but she found, even though the work was hard, it had a certain "real" quality to it. Even when she had to shed her red jacket and saw Kaji's eyes wandering, she was in too good a mood to call him out.

Once they finished loading the watermelons into the wheelbarrow, Kaji stopped beside her, "I haven't kept you from your real work, have I?"

"Bah!" Misato huffed, "I can only stare at a computer screen for so long before I start to go stir-crazy! I needed this."

Kaji nodded sagely, "Real hard labor has a way of reminding us what it's like to really struggle, like those before us once did."

Misato arched an eyebrow, "Are you saying humanity's grown soft?"

"Perhaps," he shrugged, "It's why I picked up the hobby. It helps me to ground myself, give myself something real to focus on."

He rocked on his heels, "If we end up making it, how about it, Katsuragi? Me, you, retire and grow watermelons? We can even bring the kids, if you'd like."

Misato huffed once more, blowing her bangs from her eyes, "You think it'll ever end?"

"It's a nice thought, at the very least," he shrugged.

They stood in silence for a few more moments before Misato asked out of the blue, "Do you know what the Marduk Institute is?"

He arched an eyebrow, "Is this you taking up my offer?"

She shrugged, "Just answer me this one question."

He hummed in thought then admitted, "...it doesn't exist."

Misato's eyes widened and she hurried over to where she had left her red jacket. She pulled the packet of papers from it, turned it towards him and gestured to the lettering at top, which did read "Marduk Institute". "What's this then?" she cried.

He gestured for her to hand it over and, after scanning it for a few moments, concluded, "This is just something nice the Commander had Ritsuko make. Did she tell you what it supposedly is?"

"She said they were in charge of choosing pilot candidates."

"They want you to think it's a bigger organization than it truly is," Kaji told her, "Truthfully, the pool of candidates is only constrained to a few children, most of which are here in Tokyo-3. Look into Shinji's class. The Commander, Vice Commander, and a small committee are the ones really choosing the next pilots."

Misato frowned. A small committee, huh? She remembered the panel of "shareholders and investors" the Commander had her meet with. So her suspicions were correct and these people wielded more power than was let on. But why in the hell would they care about who they chose for the next pilot? Did they even care that much and that's why their choice was the one they picked?

She almost wanted to press Kaji on who exactly this small committee was but decided to keep that particular detail to herself, for now. No reason to put him under more fire than he already was, in case he didn't already know.

She crossed her arms, "So Ritsuko lied to me."

"She's deeper in this than most of us. I wouldn't take it too personally."

Truthfully, as Misato expected. Still stung a bit though.

He handed the paper back and asked, "So Katsuragi, what will you do now?"

She frowned and turned away to pretend to be interested in the harvested melons. Here was the moment of truth...yet she couldn't commit. "I think I'll get back to you on that."

"I think you've already made your choice but know if you tell me, it'll make it "real"."

She scowled but still refused to look at him, "Where do you get telling me how I feel?"

"I know sometimes your lips say one thing but your eyes say another. It's why you won't look at me."

"I really do mean I'll get back to you on that," then, in a murmur she added, "But I guess I'm already too far in already, huh?"

"You don't have to dig yourself into the hole after me," he placed a hand on her shoulder, "But I get the sense, you've already made your choice. Whenever you're ready, I will tell you what you want to know."

She sighed, "I better get going. I still got to go finish a few things before I can head home."

"Take a melon or two," he gestured to the wheelbarrow then flashed another grin at her, "Though, it might be heavy with the melons you've already got."

She rolled her eyes but still hefted a melon out, "Shut it you," she said, though it had no true bite.

---

Asuka had gotten used to Shinji usually walking with her home. Most of the time, Rei and Kaworu joined, since they were going to the same place. Today though she was surprised to find only Rei lingering at the school gates for her. She called to her, "Where's Shinji and Kaworu?"

"They're going to hang out with Toji and Kensuke," she replied.

Asuka stopped a few paces from her friend, "And you waited for me?"

Rei nodded, "I don't enjoy walking alone if I can help it."

That made sense, since it seemed she was walking with them more and more often. As they left for home, Asuka asked, "You weren't in school the day before according to Shinji. What's that about?"

"I was called to NERV."

"What did they need just you for and not all four of us?"

Rei bowed her head, her mouth pulling into a neutral line. Asuka lingered beside her, nearly regretting prodding at her for information. Rei murmured, "It's not something I'm at liberty to share."

Asuka frowned. She suspected she wouldn't get much out of Rei but she wanted to try anyways. She sighed, "It seems so unfair they're always needing you."

"I admit sometimes it does bother me," Rei responded in the same murmuring tone.

That surprised Asuka. She would expected Rei to go along with whatever she was told—just as she always had done. And even if it did bother her, she would have thought she would keep it under lock and key.

Yet she remembered Rei telling her how she hadn't accompanied him to the graveyard, as if she was sharing a secret. Perhaps she was learning to buck against the status quo.

As they continued onwards, Asuka suggested, "Why don't we go hang out, since the guys are? It won't be as exciting but we can get some snacks and go to the apartment. Play video games or watch something on TV?"

Rei hummed in thought then agreed, "That would be nice."

"Great!" Asuka smiled, "We can even stop in Goichi's shop on the way home. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll give us something for free."

Like she suggested, they popped into the elder Aida brother's work on the way home. Upon seeing them, he smiled, "Girls! How are you doing this fine afternoon?"

"I am well," Rei told him and went off to pick a drink.

Asuka lingered by the counter and shrugged, "Pretty normal, all things considered."

Even though he was still a nerd just like his brother, Asuka liked Goichi enough. He was like Kensuke if he had more of a filter. Perhaps, when he was young, he was just like his younger brother and it was a trait that would mellow out with age. Goichi gave her a smile, "That's all we can hope for, in these times."

Asuka tried to not think how, if things didn't change drastically, times would change pretty bad soon. Maybe it was time to press Misato on information on the next Eva unit.

Goichi continued, "I suppose Shinji and Kaworu are off doing their own thing?"

She nodded, "They're hanging out with Toji and your brother."

Goichi's eyes lit up, "That's great! I was starting to worry Kensuke wasn't spending enough time out of the house."

She leaned up against the counter, deciding she wasn't in that much of a rush and could spare a few more moments of conversation. It looked like Rei was doing some serious consideration on what to purchase anyway. "That sort of thing concern you?"

He nodded, "I can only hope my brother gets a better childhood than I did. How about you, Asuka? Do you have any siblings back home?"

She frowned and admitted, "A step-sister. If that counts for anything."

"Step-siblings are still siblings," he trailed off and added, "I'm guessing you two weren't very close."

She chewed on her lip, wondering how much she should reveal to this relative stranger. She said, "You can say that."

"Maybe when you go back there, you should talk to her some. I...don't know your story, Asuka but it's a thought."

"It is a thought," she said dismissively.

As she left the counter to stalk the aisles, she thought of her sister. She was born so quickly after her father re-married that it confirmed to her that her father cheated on her mother. She tried to not think too hard about her younger step-sibling; she was the ultimate symbol of her father's treachery. The ultimate evidence that once her mother went mad, all her father wanted was a redo. And if her step-mother was to replace her mother, her step-sister was to replace…

She sighed, unable to even complete the thought in the privacy of her own head. She had brought up the idea of calling him a little while ago...maybe she should do that? He tried to reach out to her before she left for Tokyo-3 but she had constantly rebuffed him, still too hurt by his actions. She still hurt but...she was a different person now.

And even if she didn't forgive him, maybe Goichi had a point. In the grand scheme of things, her step-sister was an innocent bystander. She hadn't asked to be brought into this crazy and demented world.

Of course, that all assumed she even wanted to go back to Germany.

Once her and Rei picked out their snacks and drinks, they went back to pay for their stuff. Before they left to go home, Asuka told Goichi, "I thought about what you said but y'know...I dunno if I want to go back to Germany, if everything works out."

Goichi propped his head on his hand, "You like living with Shinji and Miss Misato?"

When she nodded, he smiled, "There's all kinds of families, Asuka. What that means to you is up to you."

She left, finding Rei had gone ahead outside to wait. She was studying their receipt and, when Asuka approached, she said, "He forgot to scan our drinks. Should we go tell him?"

"Nah," she grinned, "Goichi's cool."

---

The "guy's day" was going pretty well. Or at least it was serving as the distraction Shinji needed from his racing thoughts. They had gone to the music store and ooh'd and aah'd over the vinyls. Then they went to the military surplus store Kensuke wanted to show them. No one really understood the appeal but Kensuke seemed happy they had listened to him ramble. Then they got their ice cream and headed over to the arcade.

Kaworu and Toji were on an arcade machine, a two-player animal hunting simulator. Kaworu had left his ice cream bowl with Shinji, since he said he'd "only be gone for a moment". Toji was trying to one-hand his rifle and eat his ice cream but all that seemed to do was severely hinder his performance. That left Shinji and Kensuke to sit at a nearby table. Unfortunately, his friend's companionship came at a cost.

"So I hear tell there's two new Eva units coming to Japan!" Kensuke told him.

Shinji perked up, if only because this was news to him, "Is there? Where'd you hear that from?"

Kensuke nodded enthusiastically then paused, melodramatically looking around. He leaned in and whispered, "I hacked into my dad's computer and saw so! There's no Pilot data yet though. At least, there wasn't last night..."

Shinji frowned and tilted his head. He hadn't heard anything about that. Had Misato learned yet or did she know and just hadn't told them? He told his friend, "That's news to me."

"Miss Misato didn't tell you?"

"I don't think she knew about it last night. One of them is bound to be Kaworu's though."

"That's right."

Kaworu and Toji's game must have finished because the pair had returned to their table. He took his ice cream bowl from Shinji and immediately took a bite. "But there's two Evas so there's gotta be two pilots! Tell me you know who the other one is!" Kensuke pleaded.

Kaworu frowned, "I don't know who the other pilot is. I only deduced that if there's two Evas, one of which must be mine."

"So you don't know?"

"I don't think anyone knows yet," Shinji sighed.

"Yeah, Ken, give it a break," Toji groaned, sitting beside Shinji, "I still can't say I see why you wanna pilot so badly."

"It's the pinnacle of military prowess! And what higher honor is there to defending Japan, no, the whole world from an alien threat! And imagine all the cool weapons you get to wield!" Kensuke was in full geeking out mode and they just had to wait for him to finish.

Shinji frowned, "I've only ever gotten hurt in my Eva."

Toji nodded and agreed, "We saw that firsthand. In fact, the fact Kensuke hasn't given it up because of that is a bit insensitive."

Kensuke fumed, "I'm not insensitive! It's just…," he trailed off, folding his arms, "You guys wouldn't get it."

"I guess I don't," Toji shrugged, "You want to know my take on it?"

"Sure, if you've got a better reason!"

He leaned back and grinned viciously, "NERV would need me more than I need them so I'd make them worth my while. I'd make them strike me a deal! Give me something before I even set foot in one of their death machines."

"Like what?" Kensuke raised an eyebrow.

Toji glanced away, eyes crossed. After a few moments, he said softly, "NERV has better hospitals than the civilian world. So I'd ask them to take my sister in."

"Oh," Kensuke deflated.

Toji turned to Shinji, "How about you, Shinji? You tell us how much you hate piloting but you won't quit it. What's in it for you?"

"That's a loaded question," Kaworu leapt in to chastise.

"It's okay, Kaworu. You don't have to defend me," Shinji held up a hand to him before turning back to Toji, "It's...complicated. I want to get my father's attention and if piloting Eva is what it'll take to get on his level, so be it."

With a sigh, he slumped before continuing, "And there's also responsibility. How low would I feel if I ran out on Kaworu, Rei, Asuka...all of you!"

"If you did that, I'd understand," Kaworu murmured.

Toji and Kensuke nodded. Toji said, "You have a choice after all!"

Shinji glanced between all three of them. He frowned, "It's not about you guys. Not entirely. It's my responsibility, my burden. I've got to see it to its end, whatever it takes."

Instantly, all three of the others went silent, exchanging glances between themselves. None of them had seen Shinji act quite like that. So...spirited.

Kaworu was the first to break the silence, "I think that's noble, Shinji."

Shinji flashed him a weak smile. Misato's motivations, or at least what she claimed them to be, he supposed he understood them better now. Equal parts selfish and selfless—he supposed they were more alike than he had initially thought.

---

Once back at the apartment, Rei and Asuka settled for watching TV, instead of going through the hassle of setting up the console. Asuka figured she needed to just hook it up out in the living room and leave it there, if only she might not have to keep setting it up between there and her room. So for the time being, Asuka was busy pointing out the inaccuracies in the movie they were watching and shoving popcorn in her mouth.

Rei appreciated the invitation to spend time with Asuka. After all, the last time they had done something like this was the day they kissed. Considering how both had reacted, she had feared she had hurt Asuka's feelings beyond repair. But it seemed, with the promise she wasn't upset at her, the other girl had brightened up. She took a drink of her soda to hide her sigh. There was no way to explain to Asuka the true enormity of the kiss' meaning to her.

It had been overwhelming, what it made her feel. The kiss had made her feel electric, like some sort of pleasant energy surged through her. It had made her feel nice...loved in a way she never had. Even if Asuka only meant it as just a kiss, it had confirmed to Rei that perhaps, to her, she was something else than just friend.

But there would be no way she would be allowed to be anything else than her friend. Even just being her friend was more than she would have ever thought she'd get. The Commander had allowed her friends and while she didn't understand why, she understood she couldn't push her luck with him. And if one day that meant she'd have to bring the world into nothingness...she didn't want to betray Asuka like that.

But, even so, she owed her some explanation.

She murmured, "I think I can talk about the kiss now."

Asuka jumped up, nearly choking on her popcorn. After a couple times beating her chest, she turned to her, blue eyes wide, "You are?!"

Rei nodded slowly, "I...owe you some explanation."

"Rei…," she frowned, "You don't have to owe me anything."

"Perhaps but I didn't want to leave my feelings unexplained. I've been struggling to sleep with how its weighed on my mind."

Asuka stood up straight and scooted closer, an action Rei almost wished she hadn't done. Her proximity made her heart speed up and that would make what she had to say harder. She bowed her head, "As I said, I didn't hate the kiss. I...I quite enjoyed it."

Asuka could feel her cheeks burn. She murmured, "It...I liked it too."

Rei's voice remained small, quiet, "But I don't think it's wise to go any further with our relationship."

And just as Asuka's heart had soared, it came plummeting to the ground. Her voice wavered, "Why...why not?"

Shuffling anxiously, leaning away from her, Rei continued, even as her throat struggled to string words together, "I fear this is not a conducive environment for a romantic relationship. We...we both have our own responsibilities to fulfill first. Being together...it might make that difficult."

Asuka's face fell and her entire body slumped, like a puppet with its strings cut. Rei felt as if a spear had gone straight through her heart. Her friend looked away, eyes hooded in thought. She murmured, "You might be right. It's kind of childish to think about something like that when the fate of the world is at stake."

"I didn't mean it like that—"

"It's alright," Asuka cut her off with a tone that only told her it was anything but, "How about...how about you head home? It's getting late."

Rei knew her suggestion for what it was: a request to be left alone. Gracious enough to not sound like one, to not truly reveal the pain she felt. She almost wanted to stay but knew that attempting to comfort her when she was the one who hurt her was not right. So she rose and murmured, "Very well. Good night, Asuka."

Asuka waited to hear the door close beyond she groaned, pulling her knees up to her chest and covering her face with her hands. Part of her, that childish part she hated, wanted to break down into ugly tears.

How could she be so childish, so foolish! Her feelings for Rei had crept up on her like a shadow in the night, so slowly she hadn't noticed what they were until too late. And now there was no way she could act on them. How could the world be so unfair? Why was this the hand fate dealt her?

She pressed the heels of her wrists into her eyes, as if it might push what errant tears escaped back in. Rei was right. There was no space for romance in her life at present. She had to prevent the end of the world and part of that was averting Rei's fate. If she did that, perhaps she might be allowed to act on her feelings.

In other words, she had to be an adult about this.

The mechanical whirring of the door alerted her and she shot up like a rocket, furiously blinking her eyes and hoping they didn't give her away. Coming in was Misato and Shinji. Her sadness was momentarily washed away by confusion as she squinted at the pair, "Is that...is that a watermelon?"

Misato turned to her and chuckled as she hefted the watermelon, "Oh this? This is from Kaji! We're going to cut it after dinner."

Thank goodness, she didn't notice anything amiss. What tears that did escape must not have shown on her face. She stood up and crossed over to them. Inspecting the watermelon, she asked, "Why'd Kaji have something like this?"

"He grows them. I didn't know that about him."

"Me neither."

Misato placed the watermelon on the table and patted it, a fondness shining through her eyes. Asuka and Shinji couldn't help exchanging a glance. She teased, "Y'know, that's kinda like a gift!"

Misato rolled her eyes, "What? Are you expecting him to eat 'em all by himself! He's probably gotta try to pawn them off on all the NERV employees."

She shed her jacket and placed it on the kitchen chair. Shinji walked past her and opened the fridge, perusing it for ingredients for dinner. At least things were routine here at home, Asuka reasoned.

Then, as Shinji was pulling out some pork, he asked, almost casually, "Say, Misato, is it true what I heard about Units 03 and 04?"

Asuka's eyebrows rose, "Where did you hear that from?"

Misato nodded, shooting him a questioning look as she did, "I want to know too."

Suddenly put on the spot, Shinji shuffled awkwardly, "Kensuke said his dad heard about it. He wanted to know who the other pilot was going to be."

Misato frowned, "Well, you know Kaworu is one...but the other hasn't been chosen yet. Sorry."

"You're sure?" Shinji pressed.

"I'm sure!" she said, a tad too defensively, "It's not like it's my choice."

Shinji frowned, "Why wouldn't it be?"

Setting her head on her hands, she shrugged, "Beats me."

Shinji's glance lingered on her before he murmured, "Okay."

Asuka scowled. How could the assignment of a new pilot snuck up on her! And Units 03 and 04? That was different from the first time around. Maybe the timeline had aligned just right because of Kaworu's presence. It wasn't the first time things had changed for seemingly no reason. After all, she could swear there was an Angel that just never showed up.

At the very least, this meant Kaworu's Eva (hopefully) wasn't going to fall prey to the parasite Angel. That possibility hadn't crossed her mind up until now.

Not that she wanted Toji to fall prey to it either! Their personalities ground against each other like metal on metal but she didn't want him to die!

---

Once Rei returned to her apartment, she collapsed on the couch as if the weight of the world had dropped on her. She hated having to break Asuka's heart like that but at least this way she wasn't in danger from scrutiny. Surely, if the Commander thought she might turn her from her purpose, she would...take her out of the equation, to put it mildly.

Her purpose. Human Instrumentality. The dreams of the red sea. Her gut twisted.

It was only recent she was having such physical reactions to these thoughts. And she doubted they would stop any time soon.

Was becoming closer to her peers, becoming more human, even worth it if she would have to lose all of it in the end?